That Feeling

Hi guys,
so lately I have been too busy with my feeling
and aku rasa I mind the feeling too much
I keep feeling sorry, but sorry for what? Well, sorry for a lot of things
Aku rasa sorry for having feeling on someone that I know will probably never be mine,
Seriously at some moment I feel truly sorry for that, that I couldn't stop blaming myself for all these,
Aku rasa macam, entahlah, burden? I dunno, but yeah kinda
Aku rasa sangat bersalah that I couldn't help this tears from flowing
My heart broken, and now tears...again. Well, you can call me whatever you want, drama queen? cause I don't mine be one but I just want every each of you who are reading this; this is my inner feeling that I kept...
I feel very sad thinking bout this, aku bersalah for having feeling and even you asked me to stp feeling sorry for "nothing to be sorry for", still, aku tak boleh tahan.
I just felt sorry for everything that I could be sorry for, I feel sorry for myself for making me looks like a desperate girl, I would say. Sorry for you, myself...everything, nonsense things...wtv
I dunno if I am terribly sad for the sorry or for the heart broken.
Days passed, but my heart still sad and broke and berat, I never felt like this.
Typing this just made me sad, I know it's not a good thing to shared with anyone who happened to read this, but I just want to share what I feel at the moment.
In any ways, I'm afraid if I become afraid of something that I shouldn't, for example, for liking someone, for falling in on someone, for crushing on someone...
Honestly I tried to embrace the experience of everything that I have been through,
But there's something that make it hard to embrace it delightfully...Aku cuba to learn something from this, yeah, I find something to be learnt, but to learnt that this had happened is so hard
I would this the first time I am a heart broken person, maybe that's why it's hard for me to cop with the situation
Instead of looking at the brightest side of all this, aku cuba untuk look at the bright side that all these could offer for me.
I once told my friend that my heart want me to stay cause I'm still not done with him, but my mind want me to stop, end it, accept it and get over it....I told myself that I am going to follow my mind this time, but honestly its just hard.
On the other hand, I feel sorry for troubling a dear friend of mine with all these.