You know, accepting reality is hard when you are either being too positive-hoping or too stupid to read the situation. I treasure every close friendship I have had. Be it primary school friendship, high school friendship, part-time working friendship or uni friendship.
Trust me people, I am not the one who will text you everyday or even once a year just to ask how are you, because I am not that kind of person. I personally a person who will only text you when I have important thing to say. Not being arrogant, I am not idealist enough to have a topic for a conversation. My Whatsapp is full of group chat, you will rarely see personal chat in my whatsapp, I told my friend once and I showed my whatsapp in case she didn't believe me xD she was shocked to see none of the chat was a personal chat. *I suddenly feel sad for myself, lol* But after all, I care about every update in your life that you upload in social media and take note of it. I never forget every single of you.
Here's the story of the friends I long to. We were so freaking close back then. We go everywhere together. I challenge myself to live up your challenging life. But as time passed by, we were separated with different attitude towards life. We're no longer see eye to eye. I don't know who to be blame when the problem was too abstract to be explored. Perhaps it was not a problem and it was the way the life was set to be.
As mentioned, I do care about every single friend I used to have or is having. It doesn't matter how long we haven't talk, I still care. I don't know why I have to care. I just think they are all precious to me. Probably because I thought they are like me - thinking/caring about friends even if we're no longer talk*not because of fight, simply because we rarely see each other*. Boy, I am wrong. They are completely do not care about me/our friendship at all. They just don't.
It just me, over thinking or over caring about them. I even asked one of my friends' dad to get your number because I freaking care. We had a chat for a few days because you hardly replied me. Maybe you no longer want to look at the past. But I was too silly to see it. You changed number not longer after that and years later I still, did the same thing - asking your phone number and same thing happened. I tried to reach you because I missed you, I missed our friendship but I missed the point that you already moving on from the past. I followed you on instagram because I thought it was not too personal as phone number. I followed you for many years until today. I looked at your instagram and I suddenly wonder if you're actually following me on instagram or not, because you did accept me on instagram - so you obviously must realized that I have been following you for ages. Not all facts are happy. Sadly, you do not follow me on instagram and it does break my heart because we do not be apart because of fight so I thought we're cool, lol. You really don't want to know about my life, I am the busy body one, hahaha...shame on me.
So today, I've decided to be the 'coolest' version of me to accept the reality and unfollow you. Now, I am moving on from you, from our 'pre-teen' friendship. I will no longer give a freaking care on you who don't appreciate my hard work to get back to you as an old friend. It is so hard when you are too caring on all of your old friend. Too caring hurts too much.
I am totally moving on and not wishing you the best of luck, adios!
p/s: it's not about silly stuff of unfollowing people who are not following you back, it's about unfollowing people who don't care about you anymore. unfollow fantasy, follow reality.
